The Reason Why I’m Not in a Cheery Mood for This Year’s Hari Raya.
It’s nearing the end of the fasting month. This is usually the time of the year where families prepare for the festivities that come with the big occasion. The occasion where we forgive and forget each others sins and bad deed that we have done towards our own family members.
Aidilfitri or hari raya puasa for me this year is greeted by a sense of loneliness and silence.
As most of you know, my family is in Australia where my father is currently furthering his education by pursuing his masters for a year there. This thus makes hari raya this year a different occasion altogether as they wont be celebrating in either singapore or malaysia.
To be honest, I’ve felt that I’ve kept this for too long within me. Not everybody would see the evident upset and forlorn figure which I’ve tried my best to keep from.
Now, I’m going to pour my feelings out and reveal the whys and wherefores. Just get your tissue paper ready.
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I miss my family. I miss going to KL even if it’s for a short day or two. It makes me happy to play with my little brother or even come home to see a vibrant house filled with non stop arguments or laughters and even fights with the remote control. Now, all I see when I return to KL is an empty house filled with dust and cobwebs.
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I miss those times where we would buka puasa (break fast) together as a family. I will always enjoy those moments where my brother ticks down the time or even tries to entertain himself to run the time down. but in the end, we would all smile as the time arrives for to break fast and as a family, read through the prayers and rites to break fast.
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I miss the times when hari raya comes and we as a family would wake up early and don our malay outfits or even rushing in last minute to find our baju melayu buttons. We would then go for prayers while my mum cooks and gets ready to either visit my paternal grandmother in KL or either visiting my maternal granduncles or grandaunties if we were celebrating Singapore.
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Last but not least, I’ll always miss the forgiveness moments between our family members and what our parents wishes and pray for us for the upcoming year ahead.
You see, this is why I dont feel like celebrating this year’s hari raya. It’s an occasion that is meant to be celebrated among the family and it will never feel the same without the family around. I miss my family and I cant hide that fact. it makes me feel very lonely and different without them.
If given the chance next year to celebrate hari raya with them, I would take the opportunity to the fullest, because now I realise how much hari raya can be different without your family and I hope that those who are celebrating hari raya with their families appreciate their presence and make full use of this very blissful day. Repent, take their hand and ask for blessings and forgiveness for whatever you’ve done. Right or wrong.
For now, I wanna take the time out to wish my brothers and sisters in islam a very happy selamat hari raya aidilfitri and please forgive me for whatever wrongs i have done, whether purposely or unpurposely.
I also want to wish my dearest girlfriend who will be taking her evaluation tomorrow the very best of luck and god willing, let her pass the evaluation with flying colours.
Good night everybody.
Take care.